Miss Manners: You can ask her opinion! She’s still alive!

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Fifty years ago, an old love and I parted ways. We haven’t remained in touch, but we have been generally aware of our separate paths.

When my friend married, I was a part of that celebration, and I sincerely wished her and her spouse well. Now, the news has been passed to me that she is battling a terminal illness.

After we parted, she told me that she had burned my old letters, though not with rancor. I still have all the letters that she wrote to me, and I would now like to return them: She has children, and her letters recorded many remarkable parts of her life.

How might I proceed?

GENTLE READER: Quick -- ask! Miss Manners reminds you that people with terminal illnesses are nevertheless alive and have opinions.

That your friend burned your letters, not in anger but just to toss the past, suggests that she might not like to have her children poring over her ancient romances. You may consider it harmless history, but she might consider it embarrassing.

Or not. But surely she should make the decision.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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