Dear Eric: I’m a boomer working in an office environment. When new people are hired, they are often from different backgrounds with names I’ve never heard of. When introduced, I don’t know the name or can’t remember how it’s pronounced.
As a first-generation immigrant, my last name is also different. Whenever I meet people for the first time, I slowly pronounce it and often spell it out and pronounce it again to make it understandable.
Why do people assume others will understand their unusual names and not make any attempt to clarify them further? Any suggestions on how to politely ask them to do something similar to what I try to do?
– Name Games
Dear Name: People’s so-called unusual names are often not so unusual to them. And who’s to say what any given person they meet is familiar with.
When you don’t understand a person’s last name, ask them to help you. “I want to make sure I get your name right; can you spell it for me?”
You’re taking an extra step by clarifying your name for folks; others may not feel compelled to do the same because it can make them feel, well, unusual.
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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.
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